in the hundred years that ive been gone from this site has anyone won the lottery and would like to donate £350 to me 

hann:

fruitcrocs:

this month, april 2017, is the one year anniversary of my depression consuming my life and completely disabling me, to the point where i couldn’t go a week without having a crippling breakdown that would leave me with an agonising headache for another week. my grades had dropped from straight As to averaging Es, i was in a manipulative relationship, and on the rare occasion where i did want to get out of bed my anxiety made it next to impossible to do so. this disgusting debilitating illness that killed my grandmother and my father, and affected all those related to them, had taken over my life. 

next month, may 2017, marks the one year anniversary of my drug overdose. it marks the one year anniversary of the paramedics having to break down my bathroom door and carry me into the back of the ambulance. it marks my week long stay in a hospital, where i was under 24/7 1-on-1 supervision by specialist nurses, with my arms bandaged up to my shoulders just to keep me safe.

june 2017 marks the one year anniversary of me starting antidepressants and receiving the CBT i so sorely needed. 

last summer the person i was had no future whatsoever. when other people were making plans for the summer, i couldn’t even commit to making plans for tomorrow. i wasn’t living and at the risk of sounding cliché, i was barely surviving. 

but THIS april i am studying my ass off to get the grades i need to attend medical school. i have received offers from every med school i applied to, i am set to start studying at my dream university this september, i am willingly working hours and hours a day, AND night, just to crack that tricky concept ive spent a year trying to understand in chemistry. i look forward to tomorrow, i look forward to waking up in the morning and making my bed, i look forward to eating lunch and taking my dog out for a walk. i left the toxic relationship in 2016, and my mum comments every day how the smile hasnt slipped off my face in months. 

this june i’ll be sitting the exams that won’t mark the end of my adolescent years, but’ll mark the beginning of the rest of my life. i’ll know that i’ve worked my absolute hardest and will have done the best i could’ve done given the circumstances. 

this september i’ll be moving out, i’ll be moving to the other side of the country, to attend a world renowned university to study one of the most competitive and challenging courses there is. 

six years down the line i’ll be graduating university with a medical degree under my belt, and a license to practice medicine and change peoples’ lives for the better. but perhaps the best thing about this? is that i can actually look six years down the line. 

so please, believe me when i say things CAN and WILL change. please don’t let yourself hit rock bottom like i did, but if you do, it’s honestly not the end of the world. you can and you will pick yourself up, go get the help that you need (because lets not kid ourselves lying in bed with a blanket and a cup of tea like half of the posts tell you to do is NOT going to change your mental health), and look forward to enjoying life again. again, i hate the clichés but if i can do it, then there is no way in HELL you can’t do it too. 

just wanted to say i MADE it!!!! i’m going to medical school i got the grades i’m going to be a DOCTOR!!!!!